60 replies to this topic

[pollutedshine]

the open market is selling them for $30 US/barrel

That translates to $50 AU a barrel here, causing the fuel price to jump from $1.00 a Litre to $1.20 a litre. its realy putting the squeeze on small business, and us low income earners who drive 50Kms a day for work. Interestingly fuel reseves are due to run short around the year 2045. Oh and put a vote for ptolomeus3 here too.

[shawn_nee]

I voty for Ptol-3 also, for he has vowed to put a puter in every competent persons home, make the internet completly free.......of pop-ups, and has promised 1 free wish to all who vote for him.

[BigTy]

hey only reason I would vote is for teh FREE HOT Latin chick thats it.

[shawn_nee]

Yes he has said he would give you a free HOT latin chick, he went over to spain and picked up a baby spanish chicken just for you.

you said chick you didnt specify species

[ptolomeus3]

Yes I promised everything
Btw Shawn_nee, I was really in Spain last week (Fair in Madrid). I think you missed a profession BigTy, I´ve seen a lot of pretty you know what

Edited by ptolomeus3, 05 November 2004 - 10:26 PM.

[Phoenix]

Letter to America..........



To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect a suitable President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.

Your new prime minister (The Rt. Hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed".
2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys.
4. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.
5. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby football (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.
6. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "sh*t". July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day". All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

[pollutedshine]

Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it

Thats what I thought til I looked how the U.S. spelt it : Aluminum not Aluminium. A guy on another forum sent me an online correspondance school tutorial and thats what it said.

of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders

hehehehe Where'd you get this Phoenix? did you make it up? if you did your good and in the wrong proffession, your real name isn't Michael Moore is it?

[shawn_nee]

Dear Mr. (we say that loosley) Phoenix,

In response to your letter, I would like to inform you that you have been placed on the no fly list, any attempt to purchase a flight to the United States or any of it's occupied territories will be punishible by the intelligence of our Grand Dragon...... umm....President. It has also been decided the Great Brittian and all her territories will submit to our Grand Dragon, sorry, President or face invasion by our military forces. We reserve the right to use our nucular missiles at which targets we choose, (currently you are about 2 feet from ground zero). We shall also change the Oxford dictionary to the correct American spellings of words, since there are more of us anyway. If you protest you will be sentenced to life in Utah (we dont care to much for it either). Please stop where you are put down your fish and chips and the men in black suits shall collect you shortly.

Thank you for your interests in our country.

US Ministry of PoohBah




If only I had more time on my hands like Phoenix does to write a better smart-@ss letter

[BigTy]

this from the guy with a dragon for a icon.

[pollutedshine]

From John Howards Australian Ministry of Grand Dragon bottom kissing and PoohBah Kissing and 'yes men' incorporated and their associated 'your always right' subsidiaries.

To the Grand Dragon and US Ministry of PoohBah.

Love and kisses on your buttocks, isnt it funny how we agree on everything you say. We have formally changed these words in your honour (which is now honor): colour to color, centre to center, and Aluminium to Aloooominum. Anything else we can do for you, (and we mean anything nudge nudge wink wink) please feel free to ask.

Love and bottom kisses John Howard

PS I had a dream about your Grand Dragon Last Night. hehehehehehe

There you go ptolomeus3, family friendly.

including my old age

As they say: your only as old as the woman you feel.

Edited by pollutedshine, 09 November 2004 - 09:20 AM.

[ptolomeus3]

Dear Sirs,
please remember this is a forum for all ages, including my old age, so please be family friendly in the words used
Mr. daddy Phoenix: I feel really disappointed, I though you would vote for your pupil (me) and not for this old lady something II The only thing which protects you against my anger is that you are the OberBoss
Me beeing the chief would be best for all

[Robbo]

Me im just pleased that our Tron has finally seen the light and got himself a proper Avatar, though never knew that he was a Michael Moore fan.

[shawn_nee]

Hey Robbo, it's nice to see you found an avatar yourself that suits you just fine. How much did it cost for the self portrait puppet?

[Phoenix]

self portrait puppet?

Please note, only i am allowed to pull Robbos strings

[BigTy]

Im not going to comment on the fact YOU want to be the only GUY pulling Robbo's little STRING .

Edited by BigTy, 09 November 2004 - 07:56 PM.

[ptolomeus3]

self portrait puppet?

Please note, only i am allowed to pull Robbos strings

Hey, did we miss something

[shawn_nee]

You got to read between the strings on this one........

[ptolomeus3]

It´s becoming to high for me
Oh, I understand ! I remember seeing here a topic with a picture of a very sexy male with strings on. Do you mean that Phoenix pulls those strings from Robbo

[moresoup]

Why limit playboy to free downloads? Since sex ed is already so libidinous why not make playboy mandatory reading? starting with middle school and then upgrade to hustler in high school.


Perhaps after that require assassin class. Teach students everything about assassinating targets, give them a gun, but before giving them a trunk load of ammo tell them they shouldn't use their gun, unless of course they choose to, and then it's ok.

Wow, you could improve so many aspects of life!

[ptolomeus3]

It´stoo late m8
I did get, maybe, 5 votes. That was not enough