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In a mans world!!!!!!!!


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#1 NoMoreCoasters

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Posted 20 January 2003 - 10:30 PM

If it really was a mans world...

1. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the arse and "Cheers for the sex - now f*** off" would pretty much do it.
2. Birth control would come in lager.
3. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29, so it would only occur in leap years.
4. On Mothers Day, you'd get the day off to go drinking.
5. Instead of "beer-belly", you'd get "beer-biceps".
6. Tanks would be far easier to rent.
7. Every woman that worked would have to do so topless.
8. Every man would get four, real Get Out of Jail Free cards per year.
9. Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
10. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen when the ball goes out of play.
11. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to "I love you."
12. The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
13. "Sorry, but I got wasted last night", would be an acceptable excuse for absence and/or poor time keeping.
14. Lifeguards could remove people from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance.
15. Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
16. Lager would have the same effect as Viagra.
17. "Fancy a shag" would be the only chat up line in existence and itwould work every time.
18. Everyone would drive at least 70mph and anyone driving under that would be fined.
19. Dinner break would happen every hour and the boss would hire in strippers and 2000 a night hookers for the duration of those breaks.
21. Harrier jump jets would take you to and from work.
22. Everyone would have a real Light Sabre and a fight to the death would settle any disagreements.
23. Vomiting after 20 pints would actually make you more attractive to the opposite sex.
24. When it was time to leave work, a whistle would sound and you'd get to slide down the back of a Brontosaurus like Fred Flintstone.

IF ONLY............. biggrin.gif

#2 horusofoz

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Posted 08 December 2008 - 05:55 PM

QUOTE (NoMoreCoasters @ Jan 21 2003, 03:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If it really was a mans world...

1. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the arse and "Cheers for the sex - now f*** off" would pretty much do it.
2. Birth control would come in lager.
3. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29, so it would only occur in leap years.
4. On Mothers Day, you'd get the day off to go drinking.
5. Instead of "beer-belly", you'd get "beer-biceps".
6. Tanks would be far easier to rent.
7. Every woman that worked would have to do so topless.
8. Every man would get four, real Get Out of Jail Free cards per year.
9. Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
10. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen when the ball goes out of play.
11. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to "I love you."
12. The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
13. "Sorry, but I got wasted last night", would be an acceptable excuse for absence and/or poor time keeping.
14. Lifeguards could remove people from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance.
15. Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
16. Lager would have the same effect as Viagra.
17. "Fancy a shag" would be the only chat up line in existence and itwould work every time.
18. Everyone would drive at least 70mph and anyone driving under that would be fined.
19. Dinner break would happen every hour and the boss would hire in strippers and 2000 a night hookers for the duration of those breaks.
21. Harrier jump jets would take you to and from work.
22. Everyone would have a real Light Sabre and a fight to the death would settle any disagreements.
23. Vomiting after 20 pints would actually make you more attractive to the opposite sex.
24. When it was time to leave work, a whistle would sound and you'd get to slide down the back of a Brontosaurus like Fred Flintstone.

IF ONLY............. biggrin.gif

Very much not politically correct but 24 barrels of laughs all the same yahoo.gif

#3 zamiel

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Posted 08 December 2008 - 07:26 PM

The original poster does not have access to this area to see your reply and the post is nearly 6 years old. sad.gif

#4 horusofoz

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Posted 09 December 2008 - 04:41 AM

QUOTE (zamiel @ Dec 9 2008, 12:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The original poster does not have access to this area to see your reply and the post is nearly 6 years old. sad.gif

No problem. Plus the age of the post doesn't affect its comic value though I admit I hadn't noticed oops.gif . If anything just means this is temporarily ressurected for others such as yourself to have a brief giggle over.

Enjoy smile.gif

#5 HolySimpsons

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Posted 04 January 2009 - 06:51 PM

Haha, I do absolutely agree to that. biggrin.gif

#6 Cooler

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Posted 24 February 2009 - 07:50 AM

This is one of those rare occasions when resurrecting a thread from stone age is almost justified by entertainment value of topic. wink.gif




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