I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis racquet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said,” That’s fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled----"WHAT?"
I then said "honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial means as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
Friday Funny 13-10-2006
Started by
Phoenix
, Oct 13 2006 02:29 AM
3 replies to this topic
#1
Posted 13 October 2006 - 02:29 AM
#2
Posted 13 October 2006 - 03:12 AM
I knew that one, but it´s nice to read it again
#3
Posted 13 October 2006 - 07:43 AM
TMI TMI TMI
I could have gone on without thinking of dinosaur mating, I have to go scrub my eyes now.....
Just kidding, that was funny. I hadn't seen it yet. Good one.
I could have gone on without thinking of dinosaur mating, I have to go scrub my eyes now.....
Just kidding, that was funny. I hadn't seen it yet. Good one.
#4
Posted 15 October 2006 - 09:23 AM
Funny stuff lol, very funny.
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